בס''ד
Shabbat Nahamu
Parshat VaEthanan
15 Av, 5772
August 3rd, 2012
I
end up thinking about guilt a lot.
This
is not by choice.
Guilt is the disease of those whose
cultures have survived long enough to abrogate their own expectations. It is
the byproduct of being told what to do since time immemorial, but choosing to
do something different. So, for Jews, Catholics, and many others, it’s mother’s
milk.
It is also a major motivator of human
behavior, and I am confronted with it daily. As a rabbi, I represent the segment
of life about which people have the deepest ambivalence. Thus I have developed
the superpower of inducing guilt merely by walking into a room, and I have
become quite a student of how it manifests.
By far, guilt’s most interesting
expression is through pride. One sees this, especially in the states: a prideful,
often scorning, relish in a real or perceived deficiency: “book-learning is a
waste of time;” “I would never lower myself by thinking of something so common
as money;” and my personal favorite, “I’m a terrible Jew – I’ve broken the
entire Torah.” (which is not possible, and really, all I wanted was some
ice-cream from your shop.)
What links all three is the admixture
of a choice – not to pursue higher learning, not to learn business, not to be
observant – and an unconscious fear that somehow one is living in error. How
else to explain the aggression towards those who have walked said path?
The incomparable Rav Kook, writing to
his students, once said, “One who is inclined towards piety, to the highest
possible spiritual wisdom, should know that it was for this [purpose] that he
was created…and therefore be happy in his lots; however, never should they be
despised in his eyes, nor should he demean the lots of others – even though
they are very far (from this wisdom), for in certainty they have other vocations
which are good and useful, and are very far from [the student].
It is our ability to accept the lots
of others with grace and joy, different though they may be from ours, that
attests to the rightness of our own lives.
Interesting that you should note this reaction "especially in the states." I've felt this reaction(or perhaps the converse) in Israel: "I'm so glad my grandparents gave up that superstitious nonsense years ago." That may be the same chiloni guilt, or it may be just outright hostility.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, it would be surprising if Rav Kook never encountered that sort of hostility, as it was surely worse in his day than today. I've always assumed his tolerance was tactical (someone's got to run the electricity and the water systems on Shabbat). Otherwise, his acceptance could be seen as downright...Christian.